I know that at the time, I was a little underwhelmed by the random book quote I found, and wrote about in my last post.  But apparently it resonated with me more than I thought.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since that fine [frigid] Michigan Saturday, nearly two weeks ago!

My grandmother passed away in January.  [Don’t worry, this post won’t become instantly morbid.]  That particular Saturday – when I spent the afternoon working away with my favorite cousin, Jackie, in a coffee shop – happened to be the very next day post-funeral.  The memorial service for my 92 year old Grandmother was a bit of a bummer because of course, there is always sadness over losing a loved one.  But despite the sadness, the service was beautiful, with hugs all around.  And that whole day – actually, the entire weekend – was really FUN and enjoyable!  I spent time in my beloved home state during the winter, which I haven’t done in 5-and-a-half years [and probably won’t do again anytime soon now that I’ve had a shocking reminder of how cold it gets in The Mitten];  spent time with my cousins, who I’ve always loved dearly;  and had a relaxing weekend being away from the hustle of usual life.

ugh. hair in my face…

The thing is, the excerpt from the book about Whitman was very fitting for that particular weekend.  My Grandmother’s funeral day was a day full of love, friendship, sympathy… and all the wonderful things mentioned in the mini-paragraph I happened upon.  And like I mentioned, despite the inherent sadness of the day, we all had a really great time!  I felt healed by my family’s presence.  I felt comforted knowing we all loved Grandma, and will all miss her for so many of the same reasons, but also for so many different ones.  There was more love in that one tiny day than some people experience in their whole life.

The tears of my Grandmother’s four daughters during the weeks leading up to her funeral service, and during the beautiful ceremony we shared together celebrating her life, beg the question, “what medicine is there to heal a broken heart?”  There isn’t any, as many of us know.  But it IS true what Whitman said, there is something about love and friendship that does more good than medicine.  And I saw that plainly with my Grandmother’s passing… in the love of my family, the love of my friends, the sympathy cards I received in the mail, the hugs from my co-workers…  It is all truly something to be thankful for.

While [wasting my life away] on Instagram this morning, I took sincere interest in a lovely photo of a beautiful thing:

“WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID TO DO IS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THE NEXT THING YOU NEED TO DO.” -ralph waldo emerson

A former co-worker, and beautiful soul, posted said pic of a book page with the above printed text.  It struck me.  The timing of this discovery is perfect.  The implications of the text, divine.  Though I’ve never seen this passage before [because I’m not at all versed in Emerson], I’m so happy to have found it now.

I’ve been needing a change.  But I fear change.  I’ve been needing more.  But I’m afraid to leave behind what I know.  I know I’m capable of incredible things.  But what if, by pursuing dreams, I find out that I’m only mediocre?  There is but one life to live.  And there is no way of knowing what amazing things could happen, if you are too fearful to take that next step [or in my case, big leap].

And as I sat at a beautifully handcrafted, perfectly varnished, raw wood high top table, in an adorable Lake Orion, Michigan, coffee shop [A BEAN TO GO] …I realized the table decor on which my dSLR sat was an old-timey book.  I’ve been sitting next to this 1943 edition of “Walt Whitman. An American” for well over an hour without taking any more notice of it, except to set things on top of it.

I always wanted to be that person who could grab a book, and have it randomly fall open to a page containing something perfectly insightful for me.  I’m not that lucky.  Or maybe I don’t believe hard enough in that type of serendipity, so it never happens for me.

Sure enough.  I grab the book and flop it open to… Chapter XVIII “Children of Adam.”  Nothing on either the left, or right, pages made much sense to me.  So I tried again, and there it was.  Page 218.

“…THERE IS SOMETHING IN PERSONAL LOVE, CARESSES, AND THE MAGNETIC FLOOD OF SYMPATHY AND FRIENDSHIP, THAT DOES, IN ITS WAY, MORE GOOD THAN ALL THE MEDICINE IN THE WORLD.”

It didn’t quite “strike home” with me the way seeing the Emerson quote on IG did.  But this sentence sure is beautiful.  The paragraph appears to be an excerpt from “Hospital Visits” March and April 1864.  Isn’t it wonderful to think that, even 150+ years ago, humanity was fully aware of the power of LOVE?  I appreciate that.  It’s romantic, and reassuring.  I want to soak up that knowledge, believing that… even in times of political debate, and fighting among the people of different countries in our world… there are those who still recognize the power of loving each other thoughtfully, and without discretion.  And someday soon this will be the rule, not the exception.

I camped a little when I was younger, but it wasn’t “real” camping.  My family only “horse camped” a couple times;  as in, my parents trailered our horses to a camp ground [with running water and toilets] in the beautifully woodsy part of Michigan, so that my sister and I could trail-ride with the other kids in our 4-H group.  My horse hated trail riding, and I was young enough that I couldn’t quite control her when she decided she was over it.  Sometimes I rode a friend’s horse that was easier on trails, but after that horse decided to [quite spontaneously] lay down in the middle of the trail and ROLL, I was done.  I had to bail as soon as she went down, and was instructed to kick her in the ribs repeatedly until she got back up.  What a way to trail ride… [eye roll].  Needless to say, I hated horse camping [or maybe camping in general.]

I was re-introduced to camping MANY years later with a one-time experience the summer after my freshman year of college.  I was living in Northern Colorado for the summer, and was invited by a co-worker to tag along on her camping trip an hour into the mountains.  It was a weekend of beers [sorry mom], learning to yield an axe [which I did “like a girl,” if you will], stargazing in a truck bed, and exploring caves in the middle of the night.  Camping was all-around beautiful!

I was never invited to go camping again until June of 2014 by a new boyfriend who didn’t know I was probably too girly to live in the woods for 24 hours.  I mean, I didn’t think I was too girly… but it sure says something about you when all of your friends are SHOCKED that you even want to try camping.

I think he wants to take me camping!   Really?!  You want to camp?
Why does that surprise you?   Because…it’s you.
What does that mean?   You curl your hair, and never go anywhere without makeup.  Do you own anything that you’re okay with getting dirty?
Oh…yeah.  Okay, I’m nervous.

So I bought a “camping outfit,” and enjoyed one night in the mountains with my new beau.  I took a million pictures.  It was FREEZING overnight, with so much wind the tent nearly came down on us.  We forgot to pack SO many items, we started making a list of everything we actually needed, but didn’t have with us…and it took up an entire sheet of lined paper.  I LOVED it!

Now that it’s camping season again for 2015, I’m THRILLED that the camping trips have started back up!

This past weekend was our first camping weekend of the year, and our first-ever camping trip with the new pup.  Kenai did great, of course…because she is perfect.  And looked adorable the whole time [of course…because she’s adorable].

The weekend in general was great!  We made good food over the campfire.  Drank yummy beer.  Had beautiful weather + conversation.  And thought we found gold!  Yeah… we even tried to “pan” it in our cooking dishes.  [feel free to laugh out loud, like I am right now.]  We are now sure that it wasn’t the real stuff, but it was a LOT of fun playing in the creek!  And we camped in my favorite area of Colorado, where my camping life was re-imagined during last summer’s adventures.